It all began quite innocently. It was a family fun vacation at an all inclusive resort: palm trees swaying in the wind, the sun gloriously shining above, the pool glistening invitingly, the ocean surf roaring in the background. Endless arrays of food and tropical drinks. It was perfect; divine even. That would have been the case had nighttime not arrived and THEY came out to hunt.

Day 1

After a glorious day of frolicking in the water and filling our gullets with wonderful food and delicious tropical beverages, it was time to go back to our rooms to rest and recuperate for tomorrow’s vacation fun. As my niece and I entered our room we noticed that there was a sort of cloud of insects around the light in the back corner of the room. Upon closer inspection, my suspicions were confirmed: mosquitos. I explained to my niece that she had nothing to fear as I had the sweetest blood in all the land and they would not dare bother her. For safety’s sake, I decided that we should leave the light on so that the blood suckers would stay in their corner. I chose correctly, for the following morning not a welt nor a bite was to be seen upon our tender appendages.

Day 2

Ahhhh…another great day of frolicking in the water and filling our gullets with wonderful food and delicious tropical beverages. Time to get to bed and recuperate for the next day’s relaxing adventure. However, upon arriving to our suite my niece had one request. “Could we turn off the light tonight?” I froze. Could my undying love for my niece conquer my colossal fear of mosquitos? “Sure,” I replied nonchalantly. I casually sauntered over to the dimly lit lamp, quickly calculated the number of insects in the flying fog, and prepared myself to be sacrificed.

You may think that my fear is childish and unjustified, however, what one might not know is that I had succumbed to the wonderful illness known as West Nile Virus. It resulted in my breaking out in a rash all over my body which then morphed into walking sideways, the following week, as the illness had transformed into vertigo. Fear mosquitos much Maryann? Now back to the bug-filled-suite at our sunny vacation destination.

I walked resolutely back to my bed, which was actually further away from the murderous bugs, and hoped that I might be spared from any vicious onslaught. It could happen, right? Forsooth, it was not to be.

It began during the witching hour. Shortly after midnight I heard the first bzzzzzzzzz fly by my left ear and then proceed past my right. My hand shot out in defense. Buzzing sounds came again and again from different angles. The battle was about to begin. In order not to wake my niece (who was sleeping quite comfortably and mosquito free, might I add) I turned on the flashlight on my cell phone (clever lady), then proceeded to gasp in horror at the site of the party of mosquitos all over my bedsheet, hovering by the wall, flying above my head under the canopy. There would be no sleep tonight.

I prepared myself for the onslaught. I expeditiously fished out a facial tissue from my purse and maneuvered myself toward my first enemy. She had gently landed just inches away from my left hand. With lightning speed I crushed my adversary. I would have called her my first victim, but alas, that victim was me. The amount of MY blood that came out of her tiny body was horrifying! I shuddered with revulsion and then looked around. So many of them buzzing around me! Ouch! I succumbed to the sting of a bite. That brought me back to reality. Time to wage war!

So the early morning continued with the relentless warfare: me slaying the enemy, leaving their carcasses in the midst of my red life juice, and they, happily biting and savoring my blood. My niece, God bless her, slept through the war cries and the slapping of body parts to ward off the tiny warriors.

Exhaustion hit me after 3 a.m. I removed myself from the blood spattered sheets and tiredly dragged myself to the couch. I lay there defeated. Bumps welling up all over my body. I cowered under the blanket, trying to breathe, but the C02 was overpowering my need for oxygen. Like a turtle, I popped my head out and let sleep wash over me.

When I awoke four hours later I surveyed the damage. I had mosquito bites all over my fingers and toes and arms and legs. Our routine of the glorious day of frolicking in the water and filling our gullets with wonderful food and delicious tropical beverages became a trip to the store to purchase lotions and potions and salves for my poor body. There was also a trip to the hotel’s guest services whereupon a staff member came to our suite with a large can of bug killing spray, leaving a cloud of poison in our room. He was also kind enough to leave the, now half empty, can of toxin for my future nighttime battles.

The rest of the vacation was more uneventful. However, instead of wearing sunscreen I wore bug repellant and bug bite salve. No happy coconut smell there. I was a Walkin’ Toxin. The new evening routine was gassing the room with the poisonous spray then heading out for supper.

I returned home from the family trip with many memories, a plethora of mosquito bites, and perhaps, nasally ingested poison in my lungs. The battle for my blood is one that I shall not soon forget. My niece, beautiful girl, had chosen the best roommate for this trip.