I believe this is going to be one of my shortest writings. It is something that I believe needs to be shared. As I age, I do rely on past experiences to write and provide thought-provoking advice. Hopefully those younger will find solace in my words. Those who are older, I hope you can agree with me. This particular article is about the quintessential test. Though you may think it’s about final high school exams, or about getting your driver’s license…it is not. Nor is it about a lie detector test…though it does touch on it. This, I truly believe, is the hardest test and those who pass it deserve gold medals (or at least super kudos). This quintessential quiz in our lifetime is passing the test of trust.
“Cross my heart / hope to die / stick a needle / in my eye”. These were the solemn promised words of children swearing not to tell on each other. “Don’t tell mom!” And you would swear you wouldn’t. No matter what. True…it could sometimes come back as blackmail, but you always hoped it wouldn’t. Later, it became the “pinky swear” or “pinky promise”.
As I got older, there were many things told to me in confidence. From my mother, my father, my in-laws, and grand-in-laws. Even my nieces. In truth, even though I do not speak to some of them anymore, I have never shared any of their secrets. We may not be on speaking terms, but when I make a promise, I will not break it. Their secrets are safe with me. I pride myself on knowing that I was there for them when they needed someone and they can always rely on the fact I am a “vault”. NO information shall ever pass my lips.
This brings me to one final thought. I am a vault, but others are not. I have been betrayed in the past so now I find that I “test” people to see if they can be trusted. I will make up stories and then I will share some kind of information. It works well. People trust me because I am trust-worthy. However, when I hear that people have changed plans due to something I may have said, I know that the person I spoke with is no longer someone I can trust. I sometimes create stories to see how long it will take for it to get back to me. I am pleasantly surprised when it doesn’t as there are so many gossips in this world. I don’t know why, but creating chaos is something people thrive on.
So, here is my humble advice to you. Feel free to test those who you are unsure of. It is nice to have a friend / family member you can trust. Drop some made up stuff…arguments with family members, hardships at work, people you find difficult, etc. If anything gets back to you, you will know who the spies are and you will know not to trust them. Be honest with yourself. This is not a witch hunt. You are not out to expose people, but more of a “peace of mind” deal.
My short piece of advice is this: Start off trusting people. I still believe in the good of all people-kind. However, if your have a niggling feeling or a gut reaction that there is something off-putting about someone, feel free to make-up a little story and see if it gets back to you. If it doesn’t, there is a good chance you have someone who has been burned in the past by lies and stories and just has their guard up. If your little tale has returned to your ears with some exciting embellishment you have found the culprit and also the person not to trust.
With the many tests you will have in life this is a valuable one. If done properly it will give you peace of mind as you will know what type of people surround you. For me this is the quintessential test. Happy testing! Happy living!