Fall is the season that most poets considered the middle age of life. Spring is all about renewal. Summer represents the high-falootin’ days of youth. Winter; cold and miserable…leading to death’s door. So said the poets of yesteryear. Well, I am here to claim that any season, of any year of your life, could become your season to begin anew. I myself decided that I no longer wanted to live dreading each day of my existence. This is my short tale of how I found the courage to start afresh and find my happier life. I hope you will find some inspiration from this and get the gumption to laugh at fear and believe in yourself.
Life begins. You are born. You grow. You thrive. Every person has had different experiences in their youth. Many have whimsical tales of the atrocities of their youth which become hilarious horror stories to share. In most cases, they are never as bad as what many others experienced. We might joke about clothes passed on from elder siblings (yes, I wore my older brother’s clothing). We tell tales of psychotic parents and the types of punishment they doled out. Whatever the torture, we survived. It molded us into the adults we became. As we moved from childhood to teenage-dom there were undeniably, more challenges.
If you ask any adult now, most will say they were never as bad as the teenagers are now. Hmmmm. If you were to actually start thinking about (shall we call them adventures) of your early double digit years, you might find that you were also a thorn in your parents’ side. High school and the need to belong, finding your own identity, learning, growing. To make it even more fun, the physical changes from youth to pre-adulthood. Ugh…I would never want to relieve those days again. We move along to early adulthood. Welcome to your twenties!
You are an adult. You are dreaming big on what you want to do in life. Oftentimes finding a job meant actually greatly lowering your expectations. Parents still viewed you as a child. You had big ideas on your future life. If you were brave, you followed your dream no matter what anyone said. If you were trained, like most of the sheep in our society, you did what you were told to do and let life slowly start crushing your rose-coloured world. It happened to numerous people (myself included) and in many cases it was because older, “wiser” people wanted what was best for you. They didn’t want you reaching for the stars or dreaming big because they didn’t want you to get hurt. It was done out of love, but in the end you were miserable. Misery bred more misery.
You might have married someone thinking: “This will make things better!” You jumped from job to job hoping: “This will be the one!” This is where many found themselves saying that glorious phrase: “Life got in the way.” Such a sad little phrase, but many truly believed this. I myself was one of those for a very long time and then I literally (yes literally) decided that I could take control of my life.
Practice. Yes, it took practice and EXTREME patience. I disliked many things going on in my life and I felt trapped. I had not control. I pitied myself. Then I made the conscious effort to STOP the internal, infernal negative voices. From there, I started focusing on what I call the “silver linings” of life. No matter how negative things seemed to be in my life, I would find the positive.
NEGATIVE: Stuck in traffic / POSITIVE: I was listening to an audio book so I would actually be able to hear more.
NEGATIVE: I got rear-ended / POSITIVE: I was hit by an honest person who paid for the repairs.
NEGATIVE: I did what my boss told me to do and was reprimanded later for not following policy / POSITIVE: I learned procedure and learned who I could trust and not trust.
These may sound like silly examples, but the fact is that our society is based on sarcasm. Comedians make fun of people. Embarrassing people and posting it on Facebook, or YouTube, so that it can go viral, is a new goal. Gossip at work about who is the most stupid or the ugliest is a favourite past-time. Even the daily news focuses on the negative. You can break free! How?
One day, I decided that, although in the Fall of my life, I could start anew. I could find a place that would make me happy. Best of all, I whole-heartedly believed it. With my whole body and soul I trusted it would happen. Did it work? You betcha!!
It is the place where I work now. Timeline: from online resume to interview to second interview to job acceptance was one week. My new job has people who are supportive and friendly. Yes, the job is hectic and fast-paced, but I feel alive and grateful.
Moral of the story:
- Don’t be afraid to start anew. So many famous people started new careers in their 50s, 60s, 70s, and beyond (helloooo KFC…Colonel Sanders)
- Believe in yourself. You have lived your life and learned many things.
- Let go! Sometimes not fretting is all it takes to make everything better.