wings

Best day ever!

Leave a comment

Woo hoo!  Another year of being alive!  Now THAT’S something to celebrate.  Oh there are those out there who poo-poo their birthday.  They focus on the years of their life that were “wasted”.  They aren’t living their dream life.  They aren’t in the relationship they want.  They aren’t in a job they love.  Me?  I focus on the fact that I’m alive and mostly well.  As a friend of mine said, “I’m on the right side of the grass”.  So darn tootin’ it’s a fantastically, radically, amazing day!  BEST DAY EVER!

So, now that you’re substantially jealous of my incredible feat…living another year by default…what did I do on my BEST DAY EVER?  Seeing as this was my very last year of my 40s and I am careening into the mid-century of my life, I wanted to make it super extra special.  What does a birthday girl do to make her day extraordinarily spectacular?

  1.  Book day off work
  2. Be away from home

Not being at work meant no deadlines hence no stress.  Not being at home meant no cleaning or “home” work which also equaled no stress.  I am sure you were thinking I went all adventurous and did some skydiving or went for a surreal trip in a hot air balloon.  Or maybe woo-hooing as I went white water rafting or maybe zip-lining.  Yes, many things on my “want to do” list.  I don’t have a bucket list.  Buckets get holes in them. (Dear Liza.)  Nope, I kept it simple.

MOST IMPORTANT RULE:  Declare it your BEST DAY EVER!

Then…

Sleep in.  Absolutely lovely seeing the sun shine in through the curtains and gently awaken you.  You rouse from sleep thinking you are tardy for work and then BAM!  Wicked cool realization that it’s your Birthday and you booked the day off.  SWEET!  I declared it my HAPPY BIRTH DAY!  All about ME day.  Time for some FUN day!

BEST DAY EVER!

My birthday started off with a pinched nerve in my back.  My eyes popped open after my extended sleep.  I lifted my head to get out of bed and … OUCH!  I flopped over onto my side like a wounded seal.  I attempted to slide off the bed and to land on my feet.  Every move and every breath seemed to make the pinch worse.  I had the “dropsies” too.  I grabbed my sun dress and it slipped out of my hands, crumpling to the floor.  Good news was I did lots of squats since I couldn’t bend.  (Silver linings folks.  I’m always looking for ’em).  I managed to get dressed and decided that pinched nerve or no pinched nerve I was heading out and about.

I dropped into the driver’s seat.  Yes, dropped my butt into the bucket seat whilst holding onto the Oh Shit handle.   It was a scorching, hot 29 degrees (celsius) and did I mention that the air conditioning in my car did not work?  I drove for over an hour, with my underwear melting and my thighs stuck to my leather seats.  On the bright side I was soooo happy my car windows could roll down and BONUS:  a sun roof that I could open.  I was cruising with my hair whipping around my face.  Booyah!  Good times!  For a little while at least.

There was an accident on the highway as well as road construction on my regular route so I had to divert to city driving.  Slower speeds and lots of stopping at red lights.  Stopping meant no air circulating through my windows.  On a positive note I definitely got my Vitamin D for the day.  There was absolutely no snow in the forecast.  I wasn’t at work.  Happy trifecta!

BEST DAY EVER!

Finally got to my destination and was cheerfully greeted by a pig-tailed little 3 year-old darlin’ who wished me a happy birthday!

BEST DAY EVER!

“How old are you?” she inquired.  I told her I was four.  I left out the “9” part of the “49-year’s old”.  What do numbers really mean anyway?  She smiled happily so that meant it was a good age.  We sat.  We chatted.  We hugged.  We cuddled.

BEST DAY EVER!

Then we trekked to a kitchen supply store (besides makeup, kitchen supplies are my other crack).  I bought an aebleskiver pan.  Say what?  Yeah, new to me too.  The pan was too unique and too cool and too totally cast-iron so it was destined to be mine.

Check out these babies…can’t wait to surprise the fam with these goodies!

BEST DAY EVER!

Had chicken wings AND sushi for lunch.  Best of both worlds.  And a yummy, sticky, fresh baked DOUGHNUT for dessert.  My tastebuds sang hallelujah.   (My thighs screamed in horror.  Meh…can’t please everyone right?)  Then it was time to trek on home.

Traffic…swimmingly good.  No accidents or road construction or anything to divert me from my usual path.  Made it home in great time (while sweating off the calories I had inhaled).  Just in time to go out for more food.  Succulent ribs with a side of super hot fries for my screaming thighs (haha..great rhyme!)  Birthday treat was a colossal brownie, fresh from the oven, with some vanilla ice cream teetering on the top and slowly melting.  Oh glory be to all my gluttony (OMG…another rhyme…and after all this time!  Ok, my thoughts are getting loose with the ghost of Dr. Seuss).

And so it ended.  Another birth day celebration.  A day all about ME.  A day where all I wanted was to spend lots of time being happy and relishing everything in my life.  A day where I was wished a happy day from all:  the kids, grandkids, hubby, siblings, cousins, relatives, friends…oh and even my parents with a phone call from Europe.  All of them wishing that I have a wonderful day.  And do you know what?  Their wish came true because I had the BEST DAY EVER!

 

 

The Adventure of the Special Cold-Pressed, Exotically Flavoured, Extra Virgin Olive Oil

Leave a comment

I don’t know how these things happen.  Well, maybe I do.  I am talking about what occurred this past weekend.  I can’t believe it happened again.   Hmmm, actually, I can.  I LOVE TO SHOP!  The worst part is now I have Wiseguy accompanying me on my superfluous treks to the world of eternal shopping damnation.  Is it good to be bad?  Well, let’s analyze this shall we?

This past weekend I had the most difficult decision to make.  It really was a challenge and I thought long and hard about it.  Should I stay home and vacuum, dust, mop, wash bedding, prep my meals for the week, or should I walk away, closing the door to my eternal list of chores, and head out to the far away mall to spend coinage that I should not be spending?  After a heart wrenching debate, I came to the conclusion that life is short and the winter clearance deals won’t be around for long.  Besides, I was in need of my special cold-pressed exotically flavoured extra virgin olive oil and the mall was mere minutes away so best to leave my spring cleaning for when spring arrives in a couple of weeks.  Sometimes it is best to put off until later what you planned on doing today.  Yes, I have a very unique brain function.  So…off to the mall it was!

Wiseguy, not working that day, actually decided to accompany me.  Shock!  Surprise!  (Actually I think this was in the hopes of averting a major shopping spree and bags of blessed goodies to be added to the overstuffed closets at our humble abode.  There we were at 9:30 a.m. pumped up and ready for our trek.  We got to the mall and found the parking lot quite empty.  Beautiful!  Nice close parking so that when we ambled back to the car on tired feet, knees, hips, we wouldn’t have far to venture.  BEEP BEEP!  Car locked and off we went!

As I have professed before, shopping is not just about acquisition.  It’s not just about the bargain hunt.  There are actually many benefits to a day of shopping.

HEALTH BENEFITS:  You spend that day wandering from store to store.  That’s walking.  Walking for three hours is a good work out.  The particular mall we went to was actually a series of connected stores, but to get into each store you had to go outside.  So, we got to be in the great outdoors AND breathe the nice cool winter air as well.  The biggest workout was trying on jeans. That’s a pretzel challenge in itself!  The mobility you need to climb in out of denim while keeping your balance works your core muscles.  Quite the workout.

ENCOURAGE HEALTHY EATING:  After climbing in and out of a variety of clothes you realize that if you just ate more fruit and vegetables and less chips and pizza you could probably pull on those jeans without having to lie down on the bed to make yourself lanky as a piece of cooked spaghetti.  While you’re at it…throw in some exercise!  Nice shapely muscles would look wonderful in those sleeveless tops you just purchased.

SELF-APPRECIATION/LOVE a.k.a. SELF-ESTEEM:  Then again why think about diet and exercise when you know you are a remarkably beautiful person!  You don’t need to lose weight.  You are perfect the way you are.  Nice little love handles and a pudgy little belly are awesome for hugging.  Nice and soft and cuddly.  So, forgo the clothes and shop enthusiastically for shoes.  Shoes are safe.  Whether your body is pleasantly plump or wispily thin, your body size doesn’t matter, but your footsies will feel so spoiled and you will look MAAAARVELOUS!

ANTHROPOLOGICAL STUDIES:  Out of school?  Well, never stop learning as your shopping excursion will lead you to become a student of anthropology.  With enough treks to the malls of the world, you could technically become an expert people watcher and understander (yup, my new word for my very own dictionary) of the ways of humankind’s behaviour.  

DISCOVERER:   Consider yourself to be like Christopher Columbus or Leif Erikson on a journey to discover new worlds…shopping worlds, that is.  New retail outlets are popping up all the time.  Perhaps it will be a gizmo/gadget store.  Kitchen supplies, hunting regalia, artisan foods, new inventions, the [shopping] world is your oyster!  Imagine how popular you will be with friends and family when you tell them about the 70% off sales!  You will become the most knowledgeable and reliable go-to person for anything that people might be in need of.  You will become, not only a famous explorer, but a hero as well.

UP TO DATE WITH COMMUNITY EVENTS:  With all the driving you will be doing, you will be “in the know” of what’s going on in your neighbourhood and other cities too.  You will see the signs for road closures and upcoming construction.  You will see high-rise condos being built and new houses springing up where there was just sparse land a few weeks ago.  Houses for sale, garage sales, grand openings…you will see it all and share this vital information.  You will be the divine Knower AND Seer .

RESTAURANT REVIEWER:  After an arduous day of trekking around from store to store you will have worked up an appetite.  Why not have a nibble at a nearby restaurant or café where you have never been before?  Adventure and full belly all in one shot!

So, as you can see, there are many virtuous reasons for my locking up the house and venturing out into the Shopping-sphere.  It’s educational, full of health benefits, wisdom building, adventure seeking, jolly good fun!

We return now to MY…ahem…OUR excursion to THE outlet mall.  Wiseguy’s hopes of a few simple items were dashed quite quickly (and painfully).  The hop, skip, and a jump for deliciously special olive oil and a pair of gym-worthy running shoes became the WINTER CLEARANCE EXTRAVAGANZA OF 2018!

Oh, I forgot to mention the mental marathon of all the math that is done while shopping. For example, check our these mathematical tabulations:

  • 3.5 hours of meandering from store to store.
  • 4.81 miles (7.741 km) of distance covered
  • 1001 calories burned walking and 800 calories burned trying on jeans
  • 6 billion calories after eating pizza / wings / bread at the local authentic Italian restaurant
  • Infinity smiles after a super successful day of purchasing really neat-o stuff
  • Overload – what your brain does when trying to calculate how much you ACTUALLY spent after all of your 70% off savings.  Yikes!

FINAL COUNT:  4 blouses, 3 dresses, 1 pair skinny jeans, 2 sweaters, 2 slinky spaghetti strap tops, 1 pair running shoes for gym, 1 pair high heeled peep toe shoes, 3 different flavoured herbal teas, gym clothing gear and for Wiseguy 6 Shirts, 3 pairs of shorts, 1 pair Wiseguy-size (14) comfy running shoes.  One fantastically yummy lunch at Café Amoré with my handsome man.

GRAND TOTAL:  Happy wife = happy life

EPILOGUE:   Almost, but not forgotten, I did get my special cold-pressed exotically flavoured extra virgin olive oil  

And I called him…Fernando

Leave a comment

Being the main chef in the house, I try to ensure that we eat healthy.  I try to incorporate all the food groups:  meat and potatoes.  Well, that is the Wiseguy version of the food groups.  His food group triangle is more of a dosey-doe with carbs and proteins living happily ever after.

I have never been good at reading food labels.  I had no idea what all the percentages meant.  I decided that it was time to shed my winter weight and find my summer me.  That involved finding a diet that would work for me.  In my mind, the word diet always brought to mind the cartoon cat Garfield, as his saying was “Diet is Die with a T”.  Yes, that is how every diet felt.  I would start off great!  Low carbs, working out at least 30 minutes a day, cut back on cheese (waaaah…I LOVE my cheeses), watching my calorie intake.  That was the part I really disliked.  In the past, cutting back too much made me feel so mean because thin people were eating all the foods I loved…pizza, wings, french fries, just to name a few.  After a couple of weeks the cheating would begin.  Yes, I was really cheating on myself and my health, but that didn’t matter.  I was justifying having that extra slice of pizza because I would work it off the next day.  NOT!  And once I fell off the wagon…too late.  I was trampled and dead by all those yummy foods that I decided to just give up.

Next, I went to my local library (yes, I have a library card and at a later date, we shall discuss the amazing benefits of libraries), I signed out at least 8 different diet books.  From the greatly touted Southwest diet to the Skinny Bs diet, to the Mediterranean diet, to the Diabetic diet.  There was one diet book that intrigued me the most. I had flipped through most of them, but I actually took the time to read through this one book.  So impressed was I, that I bought the book.  The G.I. Diet.  At first I wondered what my childhood doll G.I. Joe had to do with a diet, but G.I. stood for glycemic index.  What is that?

Simple…sugar.  Basically, that is what it was about.  The books explains what foods give you that instant jolt of sugar (that leaves you craving more after about 30 minutes) and what foods actually give you sustenance so you don’t feel hungry.  Even more interesting was that you would eat about 6 times a day…almost every two hours.  To make it even easier, they colour coded columns of foods in simple red, yellow, green.  Avoid the red, easy on the yellow, chow down on green.  Cool.  KISS – keep it super simple.

Now add to that my invitation to join Fitness Pal.  The Baker had used it and said that it was amazing.  So she and The Wiz loaded the app on my antiquated iPhone.  You can use it on your computer as well.  That website and Calorie Counter were really an eye opener.  I never realized how many calories were in certain foods.  You type in the food and it shows you how many calories.  With Fitness Pal (this was my favourite challenge) you enter you workouts (be it bike riding or dog walking or zumba) and then you get extra calories that you can eat.  Yes!  Something that will actually let you eat more so you don’t feel deprived. 

Sounds strange, but oftentimes I picked ice cream over a full dinner meal.  I gave myself cheat days, or not.  Eating in moderation is all it really takes and adding exercise to it.  Exercise, (exorcise?) the demon in my life, is what I tell myself I have to do.  Sort of like taking icky cough medicine when you were younger.  To get better you had to do it. 

I know that everyone out there has their favourite way to deal with weight gain or inactivity, but for me personally, this worked.  (I lost 20 pounds in 45 days…yay me!)

My next challenge, which is not as easy, is to get myself and Wiseguy to eat our fruits.  My chef expertise managed to get vegetables into our suppertime menu, but our challenge has always been fruits. 

Neither of us is a fruit eater.  I watch FIL (father in law) eat grapes and apples and bananas with glee and yet Wiseguy and I look at it as a poison chalice.  The thought of a smoothie, though it looks pretty and colourful when done, just doesn’t seem right.  In my mind, I have teeth and should use them to chew my food.  Better still, I really dislike having food caught in my teeth so I NEED to cut my fruit to avoid such agony.  Yes, I agree, I am a Drama Queen about this fruit problem, but I figure at least an ingenious excuse is a good one.

I am back on track now, especially with summer coming.  I have stocked my crisper drawer with delicious (that is their name) apples, granny smith apples, bosc pears, green seedless grapes, blueberries, strawberries, and ripe navel oranges. 

After making Wiseguy’s sandwiches for lunch tomorrow with chicken breast on whole wheat bread, I decided to try and add a lovely round fruit to his lunch mix.  Usually his fruit of choice is an apple because it can last over a week in his lunch box going on his “excellent adventures”.  After the trip is over, said apple comes back to me to either commit suicide in our green bin or to become a gang member in apple streudel or apple pie.  For tomorrow, I have decided to try something new on Wiseguy.  He picked an orange.  Nice, lovely, round, and orangey orange.  Should make a lovely snack for tomorrow.

I looked at that poor nameless orange and thought of all the distance it would be traveling.  Wiseguy is a truck driver and many miles and kilometers are covered in his treks.  I looked at the California orange and thought about how unfair it would be for another long journey across Ontario instead of the United States.  So, I did something that might not seem fair…I named the orange.  Heloooo Fernando.  Enjoy your trek  buddy.  Good luck!  Hopefully, Wiseguy will pity you on your lonely journey and condemn you to death.  Death by healthy eating decree!  Wiseguy…welcome to vitamin C !   (P.S. I actually used a food grade marker and wrote Fernando on the orange.  Perhaps the desire to tell people of “How I Ate Fernando” will inspire Wiseguy.)