Technologically Incapacitated

You know you’re getting older when…

You get a new cell phone and your 5 year old has to show you how to use it.

What would we do without the younger generation?  Seriously, am I the only one that feels so technologically incapacitated when it comes to newer electronics?  I heard the word “android” for so long on the radio that I thought there was a new Sci Fi movie coming out.  I discovered later, while watching tv, that the “android” was a new type of cell phone.  Go figure.

I myself was so thrilled when I purchased my iPhone.  It’s an antique now.  I bought it two years ago.  They don’t even make the safety-cover-anti-scratch-screen-thinga-ma-jiggy protector for it anymore.  Obsolete.  I am sure that if I bought an electronic gizmo today by tomorrow there would be a new better, faster, smarter, piece of electronic hardware to replace it.

My iPhone was just so neat and compact and colourful.  I just didn’t know how to use it.  Flip through starter manual.  Got it.  Sort of.  My one stepson, The Wiz, sat me down and showed me all the neat-o things my iPhone could do.  We downloaded apps.  We played with the apps.  We surfed the net. We checked out facebook.  Amazing!  All of this in one neat little electronic unit.  Then I couldn’t part with it.  I wouldn’t let the battery level drop below 95% because I couldn’t live without it!  It was like a newborn child to me.  I had to carry it everywhere with me.  I downloaded more and more apps.  I played so many games every evening while making dinner, while washing dishes, before going to bed, at breakfast the next day.  I believe I am missing about two months of my life….all in playing games.  I just kept playing new games and marvelling at what my itty bitty machine could do.  Absolutely fascinated!  Riveted!  This was definitely the adult version of Atari (lost about 6 months of my life playing that as a child).

So it was that about a month ago, I suddenly woke up from my electronic revery wondering where I was and what had happened.  How did winter come and go without my even noticing?  It was then that I decided to review my downloaded apps and came to the conclusion that I needed my life back.  As such, I vanquished many of my game choices to the app graveyeard and found that I could still continue to function without my iPhone being holstered to my side. 

However, I am not immune to the enticing commercials that show me how wonderfully exciting and enriching my life could be if I only owned  _________ (fill in desired electronic gizmo of choice).  The first thing I do after I have been sold on how much I need this new gizmo, is that I invite the kids over for sunday lunch.  It really is a two-sided invitation:   1) I get to cook up a storm of wonderful foods that they will happily devour and 2) I get to have them explain to me, in simple kindergarten terms, what these new amazing portable adventure units can do. 

After lunch, the three of them (The Wiz, The Debater, The Princess) gently guide me to a comfortable seat, in case I swoon from being overwhelmed by information.  They start explaining and I get the deer-in-the-headlight look.  After they slowly explain everything and show me examples,I just sit there in awe and amazement.  It really seems like a miracle to me to see what new things have been created and what these gadgets can do.  It also gives me something new to wish for…besides shoes.

My 17 month old granddaughter likes to play with my iPhone.  She knows how to pick the app.  She knows how to play the app.  She knows how to get out of the app.  Wiseguy (my hubby) got the newer iPhone recently.  He got it with the indestructible manly protector case.  He learned how to turn it on.  He learned how to turn it off.  Then it happened.  HE got the look.  You know, deer…headlights.  I know it well.  So I did what any intelligent and supportive wife would do.  I took the iPhone out of his hands and put it directly in the hands of the 17 month old.  She could set it up for him.    : )

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