Transmogrified, Evil Villain…

Life is great!  I am happy!  Cough…Happy!  Cough cough!  What the heck is going on?  Hmmm, there is a wee tickle in my throat.  Ahem, ahem…cough cough.  HACK-COUGH!   My nose is itchy.  What is this?  There is leakage from my nasal passages.  Grab a facial tissue and blow my nose.  Blow again.  One more time!  Phew!  Think I got it all.  Great!  Wait a minute.  I can’t hear anymore.  What is going on?  I don’t have a fever or anything.  What new strain of evilness is this?  Yes, it appears I have a cold.  If it is so normal then why do I feel so AB-normal?

I have become a transmogrified evil villain!  I am usually the upbeat “Pollyanna” type rooting for everything good in the world!  “You can do this!”  I exclaim.  “Live in denial!” I yell to myself.  This self-lie usually works to trick my body into thinking that I am not ill.  It’s not real.  I can get past this.  Yet, here I am on day 9 (yes day 9) and I have managed to get hearing back in one ear.  The Super Cough has diminished to a mere whisper of its previous potency.  My bruised ribs have finally stopped screaming at me so I guess I actually did not crack any ribs in cough-a-lot episodes.  My sinuses…oh my…those beauties made my eyes look like fish eyes…all bulgy and watery.  Why am I describing my ailments?  I believe it is vitally important to share information that might make others feel better about their life situation, knowing that there are “others” like them.

To be honest, the reason I bring up my gross illness is because I have become a horrible human being.  I have become an uber, ugly, vindictive “reality show” type personality on the person I love.

When you get sick as a parent, you are not allowed to show weakness.   You are the doctor.  You are the nurse.  You are the most patient and understanding person in their lives.  When they say their teardrop hurts their cheek, it’s a reality you need to remedy to make them sleep.  However, when the children are out of the house and you become ill, you finally get to plead illness (and insanity).  Who gets the brunt of your illness woes?  Your bestie!  The person who will always be there for you through thick and thin.  It’s true right?

Think about it.  Wiseguy told me right from the beginning that one crucial element of a good relationship is:  COMMUNICATION!  For those of you who do not understand what that means, I shall simplify.  If there is something that is bothering you and you are holding it inside instead of talking about it, that means you are NOT communicating.  This would be a perfect example of my parent’s household.

In my parents house if you were upset, you held it in because there was no point in discussing issues.  Parents were always right.  Siblings?  No talk…more about actions and getting even (bwahaha!).  So, now I had to learn this “talk” thing.

For those of you who were taught manners and behaving properly and “be sure not to offend anyone” this was a difficult task.  After several years I got the hang of it.  It’s not about yelling and picking on each other, it’s actually discussing things, in adult words, no F-bombs.  It’s sharing thoughts, ideas, opinions.  It really does work.  Well, it works while you are both of sound mind.  When one gets sick, sense and sensibility gets thrown out and the evil “sick” monster takes over.

As previously mentioned, I have been the caretaker for many.  If I did get ill (i.e.”West Nile Virus), I still had my father-on-law come to me whilst I was lying on the couch and ask me: “What’s for dinner?”  Yes, it’s true.  When children get sick, parents don’t get timeouts.  It doesn’t matter how tired you are, the children are most important and one day you hope you will have time to sleep.  So, here I am, 20 years later, sick myself, and I am incorrigible.

I have been apologizing to Wiseguy on an almost hourly basis!  Why?  Because I am yelling at him for not speaking loudly enough for me to hear him.  My ears are plugged.  When my one ear canal finally opened up I complained that he was talking too loudly.  Even better… he now has whatever ailment I have and I am complaining when he can’t hear me!  I am agitated.  I am irritated!  I can’t hear properly.  I keep throwing verbal darts at Wiseguy.  He can do nothing right.  He made me a beautiful breakfast and I complained about the pan he used.  Cruel!?  For sure!

So, this little story is two-fold:

To Cold Sufferers:  You are not in your normal state of mind.  When you find that you are going crazy and verbally assaulting those you love, remember to apologize for being an intolerable pain.

To my hubby:  You are the best!  You should get hazard pay for dealing with my psycho-sicko mood swings.  I’m here for you.  (I hear you coughing right now.  Thanks for letting me share my unhealthy goodness with you!  Bwahaha!)

P.S.  Although I am of the elder-world, I find that many children’s books can simply explain life’s difficulties.  As adults we find “big words” to explain our life situations.  Over the past few days, in my whiny state of mind, I thought about how “horrible” I felt and recalled one of my all time favourite stories.  It made me laugh out loud (nowadays known as LOL):  Alexander and the Horrible, Terrible, No Good, Very Bad Day.

Do you have a favourite storybook?  If so, what is so special about it?

 

Agitated, aggravated, annoyed, exasperated, irked, irritated…aaaahhhh!

Ever had one of those days when, for some reason, everything just seems to annoy you.  I mean everything.  The sun is too bright.  You hit every red light.  Your hot lunch gets cold.  Your phone rings too often.  You get phone hang ups.  You get everyone asking for something and there just aren’t enough hours in the day.  Worst of all, every question that anyone asks you just seems irrelevant (basically stupid).  Well, my day started like that and I was getting really angry and I had no idea why?

I slept wonderfully.  Last night I was baking banana bran muffins and blueberry muffins and they turned out fantastic.  So good and moist.  A miracle really!  I woke up well rested because I slept with the window open and there had been a nice, cool breeze.  No humidity whatsoever.  I had wonderful, happy dreams too.  Just super!  I had pre-made my breakfast the day before, so no need to rush to scarf down food before work. I even had all green lights driving in.  Got to work seven minutes early.  So why oh why, was I feeling so agitated?

My phone was ringing and, really, it’s my job to pleasantly answer it, but I felt like everyone calling today was just calling to irk me.  I had two hang ups within 20 minutes.  I had two from non-existent people…they said, not a word.  People coming to the office were looking for people who were either on holidays or on lunch, and they felt like hanging around and chit-chatting.  Grrrrrrrr…I was NOT in a chit-chat mood!  What the heck was my problem today?

I decided to Google my question:  “Why am I angry today?  Well, it seems that many, many, many people have searched this question before.  There are links to numerous websites that are really just dedicated to anger management.

I checked out a few of them.  Some explained that I was suffering from depression.  That was more for the “you wake up and feel angry all day, everyday” people.  Mine was just one angry morning.  Most had various forms of this advice:  feel your anger and then let it go.  That sounded silly….so I decided to try it.  I cursed (inwardly) and asked myself why I was angry and since there didn’t seem to be a good answer, I dropped it…like a hot potato  (good advice I found on Tiny Buddha).  Anyway, I oftentimes find that when I am frustrated I just let the powers that be take over for me and I will receive my answer in one strange way or another.  Today it was via Google.  Sounds crazy, but not as crazy as being stuck in a funk for no apparent reason. 

The most interesting thing was that, after I had dropped it, I did feel better.  Suddenly I remembered all the good things about today.  The sun was shining, brightly, and beautifully.  I remembered that my drive in to work was beyond fantastic.  It was like all the cars had moved out of my way to let me get through those green lights.  My breakfast was delicious, and eaten without interruption, so I got to enjoy a nice, hot meal.  Even lunch was great.  I had volatile spaghetti.  (Volatile because I usually end up with spaghetti splatter somewhere on my person.)  Yet, today, not even a speck of red and I was wearing a white sweater!  Miracle?  Maybe.  Changing my attitude actually changed everything around me (or maybe just my perception of it) but same happy result.

Oddly, the phone ended up ringing less and the callers were legit…no more hangups.  The favour asking, for some reason, had dissipated.  I was having a happy, feel good day.  I will have to remember the Hot Potato of Anger trick next time I’m ready to lose my mind and freak out on some unsuspecting soul asking for a favour. 

Either that or my favourite backup plan.  I read the children’s book Alexander, and the Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Day.  (Maybe I’ll move to Australia.)