Is That Left or Right?

I am navigationally challenged.  Yes, truly a surprise isn’t it?  I definitely do not consider myself a “woman driver”.  Sometimes I will go faster than the allowable speed limit.  I have rolled at stop signs.  Such a rebel right?  Wiseguy tells me all the time that I am a woman driver.  Today I thought I would share with you what I think would apply to this stereotype and then we shall vote on whether or not I qualify.  Here goes.

  1. When someone gives you directions while you are driving and they tell you to go south at the off ramp, you ask, “is that left or right?”
  2. A person, of the male persuasion, draws a map for you showing you streets and directions.  You take said map, bring it to a female who, in turn, updates your map with the most necessary words and diagrams.  This includes:  you pass the mall then you go left.  Two lights then right at the gas station.  Past the library and it’s the little white house on the corner with the red car in the driveway.  (a.k.a. Chick Map)
  3. You don’t remember what side your gas tank is on because your husband / boyfriend / friend always fills up the tank for you
  4. You are stuck trying to get out of the mall because of heavy traffic.  You edge in slowly, block traffic and give your most beautiful “sorry, woman driver please let me in” smile
  5. You turn your signal light on waaaaaaaaaaay before you are actually turning off anywhere
  6.  When the brake lights of the car in front of you turn on, you automatically slam on the brakes. 
  7. You end up stalling highway traffic to let someone, driving very slowly, merge in front of you. 
  8. Change a tire?  Never.  Cry for help
  9. You hear an unfamiliar grinding noise.  You turn the radio up to tune out the noise.
  10. Your house is immaculately clean.  Your car will get clean on the outside when it rains.  The grit on the inside will hopefully get blown away when you open the car door.

If you answered YES to some (or most) of these, then welcome to the Woman Driver’s League  (a.k.a the Injustice League). 

We women love to declare that we are great drivers.  Studies have shown that women have fewer accidents, ergo, we are safer drivers.  I shared this information with Wiseguy.  His comment was simple:   “You’re right.  Studies show you have fewer accidents.  Incidentally, it’s your dysfunctional driving that is the cause of them.”  I think he’s absolutely wrong.  He must be.  (Rule of marriage is that I’m always right.  If he is right…well, there are never any witnesses.)

Ok, so maybe, in a wee bitty little way, he could be ….he could be…nope…I ain’t gonna say it, but maybe there is an ounce of truth in this concept.  If people would learn to speed up to merge then I wouldn’t have to be nice and slow down.  Right?  Yup, that’s their fault.  And holding up traffic to let someone out of the mall, that is a kindness as well, and we really be kind to our fellow-man.  Right? 

For now, I’ll just agree to disagree with him on this one.  Feel free to share your thoughts on this topic. 

Me, I have some urgent business to attend to.  Must find a female who knows landmarks for this weekend’s getaway.  Stupid maps   : (