Every fall season seems like a new beginning, at least to me it does. Many people tend to disagree with me as the natural and most popular rebirth season is spring. You know, the whole winter thaw, new flowers bloom, trees start to get their leaves, the birds come back from winter hiatus. Although the season after summer has its own life beginning and life changing intrigues, please ponder the following.
A four-year old child. This child has been at home or at a daycare. Turning four means that they are going to big people school, a.k.a. kindergarten. School all day. There are activity tables that can be comprised of any of the following: drawing, painting, water, crayons. There are dolls so they can play house or doctor or whatever else pops into their little four-year old minds. There is a teacher. There are other kids who will be playing with them and calling them “friend”. There are crafts that they will do with their teacher. Scary? A little. It’s different from the usual. Exciting and a little overwhelming, but they are ready to jump in.
Transition again from kindergarten to grade one. Very different. Your own desk and projects to do. There is this thing called homework. There will be tests. Will you still have your kindergarten friends in your class or will there be new people? Ready, set…jump in.
Let’s go higher up….grade 8. Last year of middle school. After this year there is a progression to high school. What will your last year be like? You are a senior…in middle school anyway.
Minor Niner. Welcome to high school. Quite a traumatic experience as there will be many new students and many of your old friends won’t be in your classes this year. There are semesters and many more tests and challenges; especially the desire to fit in. This will all be recorded in the yearbook. What courses should you take? Where will go after high school? University? College? A trade? A job? Again, many decisions. Life through school is very nerve-wracking. It’s determining who you are. Many people will be there in the shaping and moulding of your life. You won’t realize it at the time, but looking back, you will see who and what influenced your life.
Now, let’s say you didn’t finish high school. Where did your life take you? Did you go into the workforce? Did you travel? Did you move out on your own from the house you grew up in? What made you take a leap of faith and move into the direction you moved?
It’s fall again. The older I get, the more I want to take more time for myself and my dreams. I believe I am in the fall of my life. There are brilliant explosions of colours (my desires) running through my mind. There are changes I want in my life. There are things I was always afraid to do because I thought I would be criticized or laughed at. It doesn’t matter anymore. Now, it’s my opinion of myself and my self-love that will make me succeed. Fear of failure?
Failure now has a new definition. To me the definition of failure means that I didn’t try something new as opposed to trying and not having it end up perfectly. Perfection is quite subjective. Depends on who is looking at it.
In the fall of my life I have decided to take a job that would put me much farther from home. It’s a position I have some knowledge about, but there will be much new learning. Excited? Absolutely. Scared? Strangely, not really. I am totally confident in my ability to learn. I know that I can do anything. There is no fear of failure. Is that a bad thing? I am not sure. I know when I used to perform on stage the nervousness before was part and parcel of a good, confident performance. Over confidence usually meant something would go wrong. Is that the same with jobs? Perhaps. I am not afraid to ask for help. Pride is the only thing that could hurt me. I like my new vision of life and all that change can hold for me. The need to try new things is exhilarating instead of frightening. I am happy to have swallowed my dreaded fear of failure.
I am certain that with change there will be hurtful experiences in my life. Daring to try new things, even if it means failure, proves that I have stepped outside my comfort zone and into the realm of the adventurous. My desire to learn and experience new things is keeping my life exciting and exhilarating and that is how I believe life should be lived.
Hurrah for me!
On your mark…get set…jump in!
Maryann's Life 