air conditioning

I Am A Stripper…

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Yes it’s true.  I am a stripper.  I became a stripper three days ago.  It wasn’t what I thought it was going to be.  I should’ve started each day with a warm up.  I am using muscles I haven’t used in many, many, many, millennial years.  Sometimes you have to do what is necessary.  I am reaching up high.  I am bending down low.  Squats.  I thought this only happened at the gym with a tough trainer, but here I am doing squats and hating it.  My hip joints are yelling at me.  My shoulder muscles (whatever they are called) are talking to me “Keep it up!  Great job!”  Yep.  Oh!  On top of that I am looking at my accomplishments and I am not that impressed.  Oh, by the way, being a wallpaper stripper is not as easy as you think.

BAHAHAHAHA!  Ok, my tagline of “stripper” was just a draw, but I was serious and honest.  I have been assigned the task of stripping…wallpaper.  This hideous, super-glued paper that has been the bane of my existence.  I have never been a wallpaper person as I have heard the tragedies from friends about the horrendous job of trying to remove said demon paper.  You know what?  They were and are RIGHT!

Wiseguy and I moved into a house with many levels (three) and many…ahem…interesting quirks.  That’s a nice way of saying, “Holy Sh**!  How did we miss that??!!”  This is where I am going to be very honest.  W and I didn’t really pick this house.  FIL (father-in-law) loved it.  He said this would be the perfect place for all of us as he was moving in with us.  (This will be a story (novel) for another day.)  However, we love this neighbourhood and were have great neighbours and there are many other locational benefits.  BUT…this Pandora’s box of a house has been…let’s call it an interesting boxing match.  Hubby and I get relaxed in our home and the house suddenly  says:  “Hey!  It’s freezing outside!  No water for you!”  Yup, our pipes froze.  Hubby punched a hole in the wall and once the copper piping was exposed the water flowed.  Good.  All was well and then…

Basically, our “home” has a personality.  (Seriously, I have worked hard to find the silver lining).  So, when it came to the removal of the wallpaper I knew it was not going to be easy.  I was ready.  I was armed with “Friend” knowledge and with “Google” knowledge.  I was going to prove to Wiseguy that I could do this!  Woman Power!

I am NOT a Renovationator!  I am a wannabe.  I am nowhere near being that reliable person to remove wallpaper.  Honestly, I even thought I would write a proposal to federal prisons and suggest that a good method of ensuring that offenders would never re-offend would be to make them remove wallpaper dating back to the 1950s.  I am sure anyone who has moved into an older home can agree with me.  Those in prison might also agree with me.  The desire to actually take a Thor hammer and demolish the wall is WAAAAAAAAAYY easier than removing this clinging wallpaper.  I digress.  Let me take a step back and re-evaluate the situation.

We have lived in this house for thirteen years.  There have been many changes and upgrades done to this house:  New roof (shingles), siding, eavestroughs, soffit.  New air conditioner.  New furnace.  New windows.  New kitchen.  New wood floors.  New bathrooms.  New driveway.  New bedroom mattresses.  Back to new kitchen because it includes new appliances including Wolf stove, Wolf toaster, Wolf toaster Oven.  Wow!  There are so many things to be grateful for!  Seriously grateful for!  The silver lining in this laborious new work is that once all the irksome wallpaper has been removed we are going to paint the walls with a beautiful new colour and make our house even more of a wonderful home.  In fact, tearing the wallpaper down is not actually a bad thing.  It’s a very good thing right?  Which means that being a stripper of said wallpaper is a job that I should be applauded for!  Yes! Yes! Yes!  It’s good to be me!

Then again, I could be delusional and I actually am in hell (or prison) and my punishment is to try and remove this horrific flowered paper that seems have been glued on with Gorilla Glue.  I will be needing physiotherapy as I am slowly losing the ability to put my hands over my head due to the usage of muscles that I have not used in about 40 years.

Progress Report:  As you can see from the scene below, it really does look like Alcatraz!  Except for the cute puppies.  (This could become a good “rescue dog” video).

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MORAL OF THE STORY:  There may be hard times facing you.  It may seem impossible and overwhelming.  Little by little, and with lots of good thoughts (and/or good music) you can tackle any (seemingly) impossible job.  You can do it.  You will do it.  Believe in yourself.  Love yourself.  Conquer those self-doubts and you can do anything.  Even become an accomplished (wallpaper) stripper.

 

 

Check engine light…thanks

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I was having a wonderful long July weekend.  A three-day weekend with lots of sleep-in days (or perhaps afternoon naps) and NOOOOOOO plans.  Selfish time!!  Don’t get me wrong.  I love socializing, but I also love time to myself and doing things (or not).   Anyway, I was starting off my long weekend, happily driving around to different stores and lolly-gagging (Oh yeah…love the old-time words).  Suddenly I saw a strange pictorial image.  Hmmm.  When my car attempts to communicate with me, I know there is an issue.  After Googling the picture I discovered it meant “check engine”.  F***  or   SH**!!!  There were many 4-letter words I came up with.  I did the mature thing and booked an appointment with my car dealership in order to remedy the situation.  The cost of this was swirling through my head and then I realized how lucky I was.  I found the silver lining in my predicament.  I hope you can share my newfound old-lady wisdom and incorporate it into your daily life.

I had a “Total Recall” moment (no Arnold Schwarzenegger but still life-changing) where I remembered when Wiseguy and I had only one vehicle.  I remembered waking up at 2 am to drive Wiseguy to work.  I then drove home to our apartment and slept for a few hours to get up later to go to the same workplace.  Yes, we had one vehicle.  We sacrificed and made due with what we had.  Walking through the underground parking at 2:30 am is quite scary…unless you are tired.  To be honest, being tired you don’t care who rides the elevator with you.  Probably a very good thing.  We did what had to be done in order to make a living.

Fast forward through life trials and tribulations.  We started off in a one-bedroom apartment with no furniture.  Seriously, no furniture. Our first purchase was a splurge on a bed.  Other than that, we were blessed to have a hotel banquet round table for 4 people and a motel tv donated by Wiseguy’s parents (truly, from his mom).  We had the best day ever when my mother-in-law took us shopping at Sears to get a couch.  We were moving up in the world!  Befriending a  Native (American/Canadian) Indian at work, we scooped up a pullout couch and a swivel chair.  Yes, we were lucky.  Furniture for the kids to actually be able to sit on!  For their beds, the poor darlings were relegated to tri-fold mattresses.  Just sponge covered with fabric.  I bought twin sheets (just the top one) in different colours so they could identify with one.  They slept on the floor in the living room.  It was all we had and we made it work.  It wasn’t easy, but there was a lot of love and we tried to make it as special as possible.

Clothing…well, we loved Value Village.  We found a way to clothe everyone with the wee little budget that we had to work with.  To be honest, Value Village (comparable to Goodwill or Salvation Army) had good quality items.  Some items still had the original store tags on them.  Am I embarrassed?  NO!  Everything we did was out of love.  We loved life.  We loved our children.  Belongings were not what were about.  We were about quality time and making memories.

So, here is a petit view of my perspective on our new world order.  We are used to looking at the world in a negative way and yet there are many things that are so positive.  So, I will now give you a mini-training lesson on finding the positive in the negative.  Here we go…

  •  My car shows the check engine light.

NORMAL REACTION:  (BLEEEEEEEEP)….SON OF A  (BLEEEEEEEEP)

NEW REACTION:  I am so lucky.  I have a vehicle that tells me when something is wrong.  I am not stranded on the side of the road.  Oh, even better, it’s summer.  I am not stuck on the side of the road in the middle of a Canadian winter.  Best yet…I am grateful that I have a vehicle.  I am grateful that I can afford to pay for the repair.  Life is good.

  • It’s 38 degrees (Cdn) and over 100 degrees (US)

NORMAL REACTION:  It’s too hot!  I can’t believe how hot it is.  It’s unbearable.

NEW REACTION:  I am so lucky to experience beautiful, warm weather after the cold winter.  I am also super grateful for the air conditioning that I can afford to have in my home.

  • I just got my hydro bill

NORMAL REACTION:  Seriously how much am I paying???

NEW REACTION:  I may not be pleased with my bill, but I am lucky to be able to pay my bills and have my house temperature cool so that I can sleep comfortably at night.

SUMMARY:  I hope your life is as great as mine.  It’s full of love and hugs (yes I’m a hugaholic).  And if not, I hope you find your way to that promised land.  You may think the things you own will make you happy, but as you get older you will find that less is more.  Not sure who mentioned that previously, but they were right.  Smile and think about how lucky you are.

Lastly, when the check engine light pops up, be happy.  It might cut into your savings, but it saved your life. It let you be around longer for those who love you.  Thank you “check engine” symbol.  It’s a reminder that everything in life in short.  Joie to vivre…Joy of life!

How hot was it ?

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“It was so hot, that while driving home, I believe my underwear melted.”  This was the comment I made to co-workers back in 2001.  My awesome Toyota Tercel decided that since it was volcano temperature outside, it would be best for my air conditioning to stop working.  Boo hoo for me.

I believe I am a magnet for failed air conditioning systems.  Honestly.  In 2010, on the hottest day of the year, the air conditioning unit in the building conked out.  We needed a new thinga-ma-jiggy.  Since the building was old, the part would hopefully be in, (yes, hopefully) within 2 days.  Luckily, it was ONLY two days.  It was difficult trying to figure out what to wear as NAKED was not an option.  My profession (phone picker upper and paper filer) does not allow for that type of wardrobe.  As such, summer dresses that absorbed all heat related moisture were the winners of those two days.

Flash forward.  The year is 2011.  The place is still the same building.  The inspection at the beginning of spring for the air conditioning:  “Yes, it’s all working well, but your fan might need replacing in the A/C unit”.  Uh huh.  Didn’t get a good vibe off that report.  Now, what do you think happened?  Weather report:  “Heat advisory is in effect for….”   NO!  Not again!  Day one of sweltering summer and….hmmm, all is well.  Air is on.  Coolness in the building.  Great!  Day two…back in the building and internal temperature reads:  Dante’s inferno.  How comforting.  Much better news when repair technician showed up.  He had “connections” so he would be back with the part in the morning.  As in NEXT morning?  Waaaaaaah!

I do realize that it’s that time of year again.  Summer!  How exciting!  Fantastically wonderful for all you sun worshippers and pool owners.  Those who despise our Canadian winters can’t wait for this time of year.

I myself prefer fall.  That time of year when all you need is a light sweater to be comfortable.  There is nothing dripping off the edge of your nose.  There are NO mosquitos.  You rarely get sunburned in the fall.   The foliage changes to such wonderful colours.  You can sit around a campfire and roast marshmallows because it’s not too cold and not too hot.  See, all these positives.  Yay autumn!

So, you summer-loving-sun-lovers…I need you to explain to me WHY this is your preferred season?  I really am trying to find the good points, but losing pints of sweat is not a bonus in my books.  Laying very still every night on my bed, wide awake, as I wait to feel a bit of chill off the ceiling fan on my hot feet.  Even trying to find a cold spot on the bed…that’s like trying to find a parking spot at the mall at christmastime…virtually IMPOSSIBLE!  The thought of turning my stove on…ugh.  The thought of ice cream for dinner is a definite possibility.  At least I am not adding to the unbearable heat.

I am sure I will hear the lecture about the “dry” heat compared to “humid” heat.  Yes, opening my door to leave the house reminds me of opening my oven door…except there is no yummy smell.  It’s a wall of hot air that stifles my breathing.  (This is only comparable to its polar opposite of extreme cold in wintertime.  You know…that first deep breath of cold air that will make your lungs want to collapse.)

Quick flashback…remember the days of yore when there was no air conditioning?  The family would pack up bed sheets and / or the top mattress and bring it all downstairs into the cool, dank basement so that you could get some sleep.  My parents grew up with many siblings and were used to sleeping together in one room.  Ixnay for that working with our family.  There were body odours and the accidentally released (hee hee) gases that would fumigate the room.  BUT…at least it was cooler.  During the day you would pretend to get water from the kitchen sink…then sneak some open- fridge-door-cooling-off time.  My mother could hear that fridge door every time.  You tried anyway and the reward was worth it.  Aaaaaahhhh, cool cool air.

So here we are again.  Extreme heat warning.  Drink lots of water.  Find places that have air conditioning.  Don’t think about the air conditioning at work.  No need to let IT know that summer is here.   Think cool thoughts.  If all else fails, I’ll just keep checking the flyers for sales on underwear.